When I was 25 I wrote a blog post about leaving the best job I'd ever had. Not because it was bad — because it was comfortable. I said something about developers finding comfort in the repetition of a well-written loop. Everything comes out uniform, just how you intended it. And I said it was time to break the loop.
That was ten years ago.
I'm 35 now. I have a kid. I run a development studio. I haven't written anything real in a long time.
Not because I don't have things to say. Because somewhere along the way I convinced myself my opinion doesn't matter anymore. There are louder people. More charismatic people. People who seem to have the time and energy to sit down and craft a take and put it out there. I am not those people. I'm the guy who's trying to find 30 minutes that aren't already claimed by something else.
But here's what I've been thinking about lately.
At 25, being uncomfortable meant leaving a job. It was dramatic. It was a clear before and after. You could point to the moment and say "that's when things changed."
At 35, being uncomfortable is quieter. It's running a studio and quoting $25k/month to clients while wondering if you're worth it. It's turning down projects because they don't meet your bar, even when the money would help. It's building something at 10 PM on a Saturday not because anyone asked you to, but because you still can't stop tinkering. It's knowing you're good at this and still feeling like you haven't earned the right to say it out loud.
The discomfort at 25 was about leaving. The discomfort at 35 is about staying...staying in the work, staying honest about what you don't know, staying visible when it's easier to just put your head down and build.
I don't have a framework for this. No five steps. No thread with a fire emoji. Just the observation that the guy who wrote that blog post at 25 was onto something, and the guy at 35 keeps forgetting it.
Some change is good, as hard as it is to recognize. I learned that once in a big, dramatic swing, and then again in smaller ways through years like 2015 and first-time leaps like giving my first meetup talk.
I wrote that. Ten years ago. I should probably listen to myself more.